Wednesday, September 12, 2012

castle walls

times like these i wish i had a mature figure to talk to.
i don't even know how to handle this.
and my little sister is looking to me to be the support.

my family is falling apart and she's stuck in the drivers seat of a plane she can't fly.

since like 2005 my dads been chasing this poisonous dream of an invention that's never going to take off.
He keeps pumping money into R&R and often he returns to Cambodia in hopes that someone will get him somewhere. His last trip was supposed to be his last trip. Then Facebook happened. He found relatives he didn't know he had.

And now, they're running him for a fool.
He's been going around my mother and talking to his "niece" and her "friends" that claim they can get the 'word" out on his product.

his project is just a hydrogen based energy converter. there is nothing that frolicking in cambodia is going to help.

my mom called him out on it. she said they're only gonna con him at the very least.

he wont listen.

she's taking my other sister and leaving to stay with her sister for a few weeks.

meanwhile my youngest sister is in the middle of senior year chaos. She's juggling 5 AP level courses and has to have at least 5 college apps and education plans mapped out by the end of the week.

but my mom isn't giving her options.Except try to talk your dad out of this and i wont leave.

thats some bullshit right there.

you already limit her, you wont let her get her license.
you won't let her get a job
you don't want her to go further than a 2 hour radius for college.

you weren't fair to me at that age, and 10 years later you aren't being fair to her.

i don't know what to do.
my hands are tied and i just don't know

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Caw Caw Motherfucker!!

Oh hey, i forgot that i had a personal blog still. As always i SHOULD start writing again, but at the same time i can barely write for 2Shots. But for the sake of nostalgia and in case facebook forgets to remind me where i am currently when i forget 3 years from now.

I'm a tropical bird. A pretty tropical bird.
At the moment i still reside in Hawaii with my Sailor.
I'm not gonna lie and just say its gorgeous living out here.
But i still miss home.
Being back in San Diego this past August confirmed the fact that my roots are thoroughly so cal.
The reason im a bird is that i'm still up to my brightly colored hair and vibrant image.
which sometimes seems a bit too much for the locals to take in.

but hawaii is only temporary, 2 more years and we'll be on another coast.
hopefully something more than just a gf.
truth be told i'm still aching to be a Mrs. only this time i'm being smarter about it and not wasting 2 years of my life in the hell known as New Hampshire.

I'm sure if you like trees and rocks and shitty weather New Hampshire would be a great place to live. However i hate trees and rocks that aren't good music and i especially hate shitty weather.

but anyways, for once in my life I'm in a stable situation. I'd like to work a little more than part time because being a geek isn't cheap. but hell, i'm in no hurry. Between 2shots, Kim's Etsy and being a pseudo-housewife it keeps me plenty busy. And sane.

thank god i'm sane. still a bit crazy, but at least i'm sane